


Faux Fur

by crispyjoshuatenders



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alpha/Omega AU, M/M, Neko Au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:58:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4396316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispyjoshuatenders/pseuds/crispyjoshuatenders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward finds himself in a sticky situation. Then he decides he'd like to exert his dominant bone for once. <br/>Heaven knows where that will get him.<br/>Neko AU; characters have cat tails+ears and alpha omega dynamics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faux Fur

It was funny how some things smelled much better when you were handing upside down with all the blood in your head. Or maybe that was just Edward. 

Gotham's Harbors always smelled of fish and cheap perfume, emitted by women who looked as fishy as it smelled. Right now, it smelled kind of like roses – okay, so maybe that was because he had his olfactory senses clogged by the concentrated scent of blood and bile thanks to the sack that was unceremoniously tied about his head until moments ago. Next time he was kidnapped – if (that was a large if) he was kidnapped again – he would demand his blindfold, gag, or other device to have been cleaned recently. Unsanitary, nobody had a care for - 

Ouch. Too stubborn to cry out, Nygma bit down, hard, on his lower lip. Some brute of a man was pounding his ribs with full hams of fists – just to 'make sure he was awake' according to the ant of a man that paced back and forth just within the range of vision. Cobblepot, overblown windbag. Somebody would need to pop him – Edward hoped it was him. Just because the short little mistake on the human genetic record was an Alpha he thought he could boss around everybody in sight…

Ouch. This time helpless Edward did cry out, swallowing back tears and spitting them out at the brute harassing him. Indignation earned him a laugh from Cobblepot and another smack from ham-fist before the ape finally backed away at the ringleader's orders. 

“Ya think ya can just march in here an' take wot ya want from me? That's why we shol'nt let'ch yer kind run about without a righ' 'n proper boss, yea.” Spouting off in that atrocious accent of his, stubby Cobblepot hobbled about on his too-short legs. “'S why ya lil' types need the big guy hangin' around. You an' yer partner, that other'n with the wiry ears – ya need an alpha. Somethin' ta keep ya in line. 'Course, I won' do it. Yer not pretty enough for my tastes, an' too much trouble. Feral kit ya'ar.” 

All that Edward was hearing was something along the lines of 'bugger you, I can't stand anything that's supposed to be less than me turning out better. Nose wrinkling as his lips split into a hapless grin, the helpless, dangling omega pinned his ears back against his head and practically sneered his response, “Aw, looks like your little ego got hurt somewhere along the way there, Oswald. I know, its quite a painful experience and considering your squashed frame I can only imagine that the only place for self-confidence to hide itself away is in the massive gut you tout as an extension of yourself. Are you absolutely certain that isn't some sort of growth? You should invest in an appointment with a professional – you can never be absolutely certain that such a thing is not malignant. Self-care avoids the repeated tragedy of avoidable fatality in the case of perfectly treatab-” 

He was cut short – of course he was – by a punch that this time met him in the teeth. His incisors clipped his tongue when he bit down out of an entirely involuntary reaction, copper taste of his own blood welling up in his mouth. Again, he spat, well-aimed impulse born of indignation landing in the eye of his assaulter. The satisfaction of seeing the disgusted snarl was enough for Edward to take pride in the next rib that snapped in his side with the punch. 

“I'm startin' ta regret taking the sack off'a yer head boy. If ya can't keep that tongue'a yers from wagglin' its gon' be yer next meal. Pro'ly yer final one.” Cobblepot was looking awful upset by now, puffed up like his namesake. Almost cute, almost. It would be if the man wasn't so disgusting and abhorrent already. His characteristic grin was plastered to his face now, though Edward's mouth was leaking blood in small drops towards the ground from his sliced tongue. Satisfaction was never more filling than when one of the big 'bosses' of the Gotham underworld was riled, looking at him with contempt and spitting out empty threat after empty threat. 

Well, perhaps not so empty. Should they have any chance of carrying out their threats – which they did not, as there was always a contingency plan, a way to get out of traps – there was no doubt they would fully intend to do so. That having been said, the threat of having his tongue fed to him was quite trite, and he was beginning to get rather bored of the incessant conversation with the man who claimed Gotham's Harbors as his territory. 

“I'd love to stay and chat more, dear pseudo-aquatic friend of mine, but I believe its time for me to go. Now, we could do this the easy way, which I'm sure you won't like where you just let me down and I walk away-” 

“Shut'cher mouth. You know yer not getting' outta here still in one piece y'know.” 

That's what he had thought. Penguin never gave someone up without a fight, always had to pick a price. Considering that Edward had been rather consistently bothering him, pissing him off in minor and major ways both… well, he probably wasn't intended to get away still breathing. Too bad the ugly little cretin of a man constantly underestimated what exactly an intellectual genius could do. Or hide inside his sleeve.   
At first there was nothing but a gentle whirring, a barely-audible sound over the waves and Penguins raspy breathing. Then came the real noise; the sound of a sharp little something going slice-slice-slice in the air as Eddie thrust his arm towards his legs and his little bladed contraption started to bite into the ropes. Realizing – oh, too late! - that Eddie was up to something, Penguin rushed forward only to become a pleasant pillow for Edward's fall. 

Just as he had planned.

Nygma hardly bothered attempting to translate Cobblepot's squawking into actual words – he wanted to be gone before the big man with the heavy fists started chasing him. Too bad that Eddie hadn't thought of 'borrowing' some of Catwomna's equipment when he had the chance – her bolas would be nice and helpful now. Whatever, he was beating feet now and turning a corner so he could hopefully disappear and make his way right into - 

\- Jonathan? A second's worth of comprehension was allowed before the fleeing Riddler bumped full-force into his peculiar partner in-crime. And knocked them both down onto the cold hard ground. Yeowch, that was the third or fourth time today then – Eddie's arms were really hurting him – not to mention the ankles where he had been strung up only moments ago. And his poor, poor tail. Why, if something caught it wrong again it might break and he would hate that!

“What-”

“-Are you doing here.” The former psychiatrist cut him off, finishing his sentence for him before pushing Edward off of him and spitting out the answer in a mostly-hiss. “I was going to save your tail. As always – I walk off for one moment and you are -”

Honestly, Edward didn't feel like listening to the tirade that Jonathan had undoubtedly planned start to finish upon their reunion. There were many ways to stick Crane's words in his mouth and make him think again about what he was saying, but which one would be best? That was always the question…

The answer, of course, was the one with the most impact. No, that didn't mean a fist in the mouth either. 

This time it meant planting his lips firmly on Jonathan's mid sentence, cutting him off and leaving him in that shocked, breathless state that was always so charming to look at. Yes, mouth slightly open and ears held at an angle, tail puffed, curling and uncurling just at the tip as he tried to wrap his head around the sudden action. Cute. Charming.

“Please, do serenade me with your words, but at a later time. Now is time best spent running.”

**Author's Note:**

> More coming, promise!  
> And, to you who dared me and didn't think I would deliver:  
> You asked for it.


End file.
